On Prayer

I believe one should engage in regular prayer, but the frequency and duration of prayer may vary as needed.  Prayer should not be imposed or obligated.  Sometimes there is no opportunity for formal prayer, but I believe that as long as we keep God in the back of our minds, God is always with us and hears our thoughts.

For me, there are two types of prayer, public prayer and personal prayer. Public prayer is prayer done in the presence of others, i.e. if one is leading a prayer during the daily offices or other such occasions. Personal prayer is done in private, and is a much more intimate occasion between myself and God.

I am a rather private person, and if I’m doing public prayer, I tend to keep it a bit more formal and a bit more generic and not personalize it too much (i.e. I tend to pull prayers from the prayer book or the cycle of prayer). I don’t like public prayer when it becomes an expectation or when it is used by others as a measure of one’s piety (i.e. I remember at Sunday school once, it was my turn to lead the prayer, I didn’t feel I needed to drag it out so I kept it rather succinct, but the Sunday school teacher didn’t feel it was long enough and amended my prayer with a litany of other subjects.)

While I appreciate when others pray for me, I do not like asking others to pray for me, unless I’m going through some really difficult times, therefore I rarely use prayer requests slips/forms/books. I just think it is weird when you have a complete stranger prayer for you. However, should other ask me to pray for them, I will do my utmost to pray for them.

Prayers can be verbalized or silent.  Silent prayer can be similar in many ways to meditation.  One must clear the mind of random thoughts and focus on specific thoughts as one connects with God; for me, it has a very calming effect.  The use of incense in prayer helps me focus and puts me in a specific state of mind for God. My mind is often racing with many thoughts, so it is rather hard for me to attain that calm and silence required for that meditative state of prayer.

There is no right or wrong way to pray. Some may do it sitting, standing, or kneeling. Some may prefer to clasp their hands together, or just leave them at their side. The act of prayer is a connection between an individual and God.

Prayer should not be one asking God for the granting of wishes or requests. Prayer is a time to connect with God. I don’t believe prayer needs to be structured, it is a personal conversation with God to develop your personal relationship with God, and like all relationships, it is different for everyone. However, in general, prayer should be a whole-hearted and humble presentation of oneself before God, to confess one’s sins, give thanks for all that is good in the world, ask for intercession on those who are less fortunate, and reflect on one’s self and place in the world. Do what you need to let things off your chest, but I don’t feel it’s giving God your laundry list of items.

The Book of Common Prayer (and by extension, the Book of Alternate Services or other similar prayer books) provides good guidance and templates for prayer, but one should not just recite the prayers in the book, as prayer should be personalized and adapted to the particular circumstances of the day. However, it may be difficult at times to be able to (i.e. during periods of high anxiety or stress) and pulling out a prayer book and reading pre-existing prayers may let one find focus or provide the necessary structure to pray.

Occasionally, I will write down prayers for special events/distressful times/etc., or whenever I want to plan out my prayer, or gather my thoughts into a coherent prayer rather than a verbal diarrhea / scattered brain approach, which I find occasionally happens when I pray.

Other times, I will just say a quick prayer, connect with God, and carry on with my day. I think the important thing is that one makes prayer a regular thing, it must work for you, and that it must come naturally.